First 10 minutes

  • 10 teaspoons of sugar hit your system. (100% of your recommended daily intake.) 
  • You don’t immediately vomit from the overwhelming sweetness because phosphoric acid cuts the flavour, allowing you to keep it down.

20 minutes in

  • Your blood sugar spikes, causing an insulin burst. 
  • Your liver responds to this by turning any sugar it can get its hands on into fat. (There’s plenty of that at this particular moment)

40 minutes in

  • Caffeine absorption is complete. 
  • Your pupils dilate, your blood pressure rises, as a response your livers dumps more sugar into your bloodstream. 
  • The adenosine receptors in your brain are now blocked preventing drowsiness.

45 minutes in

  • Your body ups your dopamine production stimulating the pleasure centres of your brain. 
  • This is physically the same way heroin works, by the way.

60 minutes in

  • The phosphoric acid binds calcium, magnesium and zinc in your lower intestine, providing a further boost in metabolism. 
  • This is compounded by high doses of sugar and artificial sweeteners also increasing the urinary excretion of calcium.

After 60 minutes

  • The caffeine’s diuretic properties come into play. (It makes you have to pee.) 
  • It is now assured that you’ll evacuate the bonded calcium, magnesium and zinc that was headed to your bones as well as sodium, electrolyte and water.
  • As the rave inside of you dies down you’ll start to have a sugar crash. 
  • You may become irritable and/or sluggish. 
  • You’ve also now, literally, pissed away all the water that was in the Coke. 
  • But not before infusing it with valuable nutrients your body could have used for things like having the ability to hydrate your system or build strong bones and teeth.